Sad Endings

This has been a difficult week for those of us who are football fans and especially for those of us who have ties to Penn State University. It has come to this;  Joe Paterno will retire amidst the fallout of a scandal. Just weeks after he passed Eddie Robinson as the winningest coach in Major College football history, Paterno will be leaving not because of what he did but due to what he did not do. Not an act of commission, but and act of omission has brought down this idol of ethical behaviour in college sports.
As an alum of Penn State and someone who was on campus when many of the alleged acts were taking place and who has made the acquaintance of all of the major players in the scandal this issue has touched home. Let me say that I am not a Penn State apologist. I love the university and yet as an older Graduate student there I had a different view from many that had grown up wanting to be a Nittany Lion. As such I have an inside perspective that still looks at Penn State from a somewhat detached view. I have never considered naming my kids Nittany or Lion or even Joe. In many ways Penn State was and still is an enigma to me but I feel that having lived and experienced it I do have insights to the community and the athletic department that many are not considering in the talk show hyperbole and feeding frenzy that is taking place. Some of the issues that are troubling people are ones that can only be understood by looking at the unique culture that is Happy Valley and Penn State football. This in no way excuses the behavior of former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky, but I hope it will shed light on the situation.

Artist removing Jerry Sandusky from a mural in State College

I have met and talked with Coach Paterno about coaching and helping out with the football program when I was doing my graduate studies. He was gracious in spending time with me on a few occasions and I was impressed by this simple man who lives a simple life in this small town where there is no escaping his celebrity. A modest car and an modest house, which everyone in town knows exactly where it is, befits this man. He is revered because he is one of the people and yet he is not, he is placed on an incredible pedestal in this community.

Jerry Sandusky

Jerry Sandusky was an outstanding coach who had offers to be a head coach at such places as Notre Dame, but remained at PSU in the hopes of becoming the head coach at his alma mater. While he was coaching he started The Second Mile foundation which works with at risk kids. When it became clear that he would not be the successor to Coach Paterno he retired to run The Second Mile full time. It must be recognized that through his leadership The Second Mile raised millions of dollars and had an incredible impact on kids throughout central Pennsylvania.  I had the opportunity to take kids from The Second Mile on some ropes courses and do team building exercises, working with Mr. Sandusky an a couple of occasions. The allegations therefore seem so hard to believe for me because I had total respect for Sandusky as his kindness, concern for kids, and warm personality were so far removed from what he is accused of. It has to be understood that, next to Paterno, Sandusky was possibly the most revered man in the community. From a football standpoint the decline of the Penn State program in the early 2000s coincided with his retirement and the locals believed that there was no coincidence in that. Many saw Sandusky as the heart and soul of the program at least on the defensive side.

Second Mile sign in State College

Tim Curley and Joe Paterno

The athletic director, Tim Curley and I also had opportunities to converse about various issues in sport administration and his desire to lead a quality program was evident. Mr. Curley is a State College native, Penn State alum and also one of Paterno and Sandusky's former players. The power dynamics of the relationships between all of these people could easily be seen and Mr. Curley actually talked about the difficulties of those past relational ties on one occasion.  The other player in the drama, Mike McQueary was a graduate assistant at the time when I was at Penn State and I had two classes with him. Ironically, one of them was Ethical Issues in Coaching. Mike is a bright student, both on the field and off. We talked a few times but the load he had between football, studies and whatever free time he may have had weighed him down. It has to be remembered that like Curley, McQueary  is a local State College product who went to school with Sandusky's kids and was a Penn State quarterback also under the tutelage of both of these men. To see what he saw in 2002 must have shocked him and shake the roots of his foundations of trust. I  imagine that it  made him question everything he had been raised to believe about Penn State and the men he looked up to.
These are the key players in this drama, other than Mr. Shultz the Vice President who is also indicted for lying to the grand jury, on the Penn State side. On the other side of the scandal are the victims and their families who my heart goes out to. There is no question that they have suffered and we need to pray for them and do everything we can to assist them in their healing process.These are kids who were vulnerable and no one is excusing the alleged behavior.

Beaver Stadium

However, the culture of Penn State also plays a huge role in this drama. As you drive into State College you cannot help but understand what makes this small city tick. From miles away one structure stands out above the community, Beaver Stadium. This monument to Nittany Lion football dwarfs every other building in the area. Seating over 104,000 people it stands on a hill as if it had been transported from outer space. It does not fit into the architectural landscape sitting in the middle of pastureland  owned by the University and used primarily for the cows, sheep and horses in the agricultural programs to graze on for most of the year. Those pastures however are transformed  on eight fall football weekends when every spare piece of land becomes tailgating central and the animals are moved, making way for the hordes of fans from Pennsylvania and beyond.

State College, PA

State College itself is a community of around 40,000 people which has to deal with 44,000 students who take over the town during the school year. The stadium therefore holds more people than actually live in the town. State College is also very isolated. The closest city is Pittsburgh, sorry Altoona you don't qualify in my estimation, which is 2 1/2 hours away. Baltimore and Washington D.C. are a 3 hour drive, Philadelphia, 4 hours New York City 4 hours and Cleveland about 3 1/2 hours. It is just south of I-80, one of the great dividing lines in Pennsylvania. Locals joke that there are more squirrels than people that live north of I-80 although that is probably a very accurate description.  Pennsylvania is also rated as the 5th most rural state in the United States and State College sits in the heart of that rural world. This is not to imply however that it is a community of uneducated country bumpkins which has been portrayed by some media commentators. The school system is top notch and people move their families from around the world to give their kids an opportunity for a great education in the elementary and secondary schools.

Old Main on the Penn State Campus

 The university plays a central role in the community. It is the primary provider of not only jobs, but also of entertainment. Almost everyone has some connections to the university and the university dictates what happens in the community. Health and sport clubs struggle in State College because the community has access to the numerous sport and workout facilities on campus. I played basketball during noon everyday in Rec Hall with people from around the community. I also played racquetball regularly with my pastor and others from my church in the courts in the Intramural Building and Rec Hall. The university is the gathering place for people in the community whether it be for sporting events, theater, concerts and other cultural activities. This collision of town and gown is a constant topic of discussion but is a realty that helps understand the unique cultural DNA of this community.

Many in the national media are pointing to the fact that Sandusky was still seen on campus as late as last week using the workout facilities as something that is unfathomable. To anyone in State College and with even the remotest connection to Penn State this is not hard to grasp at all. This is where you go to workout, it is where you go to meet people. To see Sandusky on campus is really not at all strange. People in the community regularly use those facilities as well as the library, the student union, the book store and the Creamery to get ice cream.The university thrives on this interaction. I grew up watching sappy movies about college life at "Good ol' State" and thought it was stereotypical  hyperbole that may have existed in the 1930s but was part of our historical past. When I arrived on campus in 2001 I realized that this was "Good ol' State" in the flesh.
From the Homecoming parade, which takes 3 hours to watch with float, alumni groups and incredible amounts of candy thrown out to kids and which ends in a bonfire, to pep rallies in Rec Hall where Coach Paterno and the players lead the way along with the band, cheerleaders and of course the ubiquitous Nittany Lion this place is like stepping back in time. In some ways due to that there is a sense of respect for the athletes and coaches in a belief that they are representing "us" because WE ARE PENN STATE!  
The isolation and the dominance of the university in community life leads to a culture that has elevated football coaches and players to celebrity status all the while making them inaccessible, well known in the community, and revered. In addition, through the influence of Paterno and the marketing of a brand, Penn State has always placed itself above the fray in terms of the issues of student-athletes.

 During my time there a conference was hosted by the Rock Institute on campus that discussed ethics in sport. There were sessions with coaches, administrators, and players who discussed the evils lurking in collegiate athletics from performance enhancing substances and recruiting to balancing the rigors of sport and academics. Being the skeptic that I am I struggled with the sessions because it seemed as if everything concluded that these things are going on at other schools but not here at Penn State. I also knew better as I had athletes in the classes that I was teaching who had communicated to me the realities of those issues. Practice requirements that far exceeded NCAA rules, benefits that pushed the envelope of NCAA regulations and other issues contradicted the seeming party line being espoused by those in charge. It was just too good to be true and I had a hard time drinking the blue cool-aid. Although it was clear that the leaders here believed that they were morally above those at other schools who were getting caught for various violations, they did have pure intentions but possibly the allure of success also allowed them to push the ethical barriers to extremes.

Joe Pa leading his team

At this same conference Coach Paterno was the keynote speaker and shared stories many of which I had heard many times before but are always entertaining. At the end he held a question and answer period and it was in this that I saw the true ethical position that guided Paterno throughout his career; situational ethics. This is a position that appears to be a strong ethical stand but can be manipulated when needed based upon the situation.
The question asked of Paterno that day was if one of his players intercepted a pass and was coming down the sideline in front him and right there, directly in front of him, clearly stepped out of bounds, seen by all of his players, but continued on to score the game-winning touchdown, would he say anything to the referees who had missed the call?  Did he have a responsibility to do the right thing as he taught his players and back up his words with action?
Paterno's answer struck me and has remained with me to this day! He at first joked that if he was in front of 104,000 people in Beaver Stadium then there was no way! But then he clarified it and said that while that seems like a funny answer it is true. He explained that for a Pop Warner coach then yes they should do that, but in a college football game with so much at stake then no he would not say anything. He also elaborated that it was not his responsibility to make the calls. That responsibility fell to the referees and if they blew their job then it had nothing to do with him. It wasn't his problem so he didn't feel that he had any cause to tell them. If they couldn't see it then it was their problem not his. When the questioner pressed him as to what this communicated to his players who all knew he had seen it and was therefore not abiding by the ethical standards he spoke about,and in essence was communicating that it was ok to do whatever it takes as long as you don't get caught, Paterno explained that in that situation his players would understand that winning the game would take precedence over what he saw or didn't see and they would understand that it wasn't his fault that the refs didn't do their job properly.

Bill McCartney

I immediately thought when I heard former University of Colorado coach Bill McCartney speak at a Promise Keepers conference.about the year when his Buffaloes won the National championship largely due to a blown call by referees that gave his team an extra down at the end of a critical game that kept them undefeated. He told the audience that not saying anything, when he knew that it was a wrong call would haunt him forever as he knew that the title was tainted and he felt he lost the respect of his players and that it communicated something less than true integrity to them. He believed it was the low point in his career.
In light of this I wonder if this moment in 2002 will be Paterno's low point. When Mike McQueary came to him and told him what he saw it seems that Paterno employed the same ethical decision making process that he had explained during the conference that same year at the Rock Institute conference. He did what he needed to do legally in reporting it to Tim Curley. But in many ways the words that he spoke haunt my mind. If those above him did not do their jobs in dealing with Sandusky then did he believe that it was not his problem? The situation dictated that the program remain untarnished and thus there was no need to push things further. It was out of his hands and therefore not his responsibility. I wonder what this communicated to McQueary? I wonder what it communicated to the other coaches, because it is hard to believe that Paterno was the only person McQueary spoke to about this.

Mike McQueary

Something this tough to see must have needed further outlets for McQueary to communicate. Unfortunately the Latch Football building housed the secret for almost a decade. And now the decision to let the situation dictate the right thing to do has led to the ouster of Paterno, truly an undeserved way for this man to leave. He has done amazing things for the university and students and should be remembered for those things and not this failed decision. However it does serve as fair warning that we need to be aware of what our philosophical underpinnings can lead to.
While Paterno and Sandusky both made critical errors in judgement which have led to the harm of many people, I find it hard to accept the media's answers to the situation.  Many are blaming McQueary for not doing more. Pundits such as Herman Edwards and Colin Cowherd on ESPN are saying that they would have rushed in and taken the child away and done whatever possible to save these kids. While the bravado sounds wonderful and heroic I doubt that faced with the situation they would have acted any differently than McQueary. Here was a young man in his early 20's living on little sleep and working long hours for little remuneration who walks in on a situation that I am sure was confusing at best. In front of him is one of his heroes, a pillar in the community as well as a former coach of his and the father of his friends whose house he had visited many times, in some sort of compromising position with a young boy. He must have questioned what he saw and I am sure he did not study it extensively. Embarrassment, fear and confusion probably reigned in his mind. The question of what is going on and what did I just see must have flooded his mind.  I am sure he retreated and tried to gain perspective. Here he was a graduate assistant, the low man on the totem pole seeing something happen with someone who held true power and influence in this small community. His word against that of a legend. In that case he did what most of us would have done, he called someone he trusted, his father and sought advise. His father then told him to speak with Paterno which he did.

It is nice to say  "I would have done this or that" and yet when confronted with realities we often fall far short of the heroics in our mind. I know. I experienced it first hand. I had an encounter on a recruiting trip in Hawaii that humbled and devastated me. I had a short break so I went down to a beach on the west side of Oahu to sit and enjoy the beauty that is Hawaii. The beach was empty and I was enjoying the solitude until someone came and approached me. At first thought it was a woman but as the person sat down next to me I realized that this was a transvestite dressed as a woman. He asked how I was and tried to start small talk.  I tried to communicate that I wanted to be left alone in a nice manner. It was then that I was disarmed as he reached out and grabbed me. I started to react and fight but he reached into his bag and grabbed for a weapon, a knife, and showed it to me. At that point, all my macho bravado left me and I felt completely helpless. My body went completely numb as he molested me and I just hoped that someone would come along and scare him off. Finally, he left and I remember sitting there in embarrassment, fear and confusion just as I am sure McCreary experienced.  Anger also crept in, at myself. How could I have sat there and done nothing? What kind of a man was I? I understood for the first time the vulnerability of rape and molestation victims and how wrong I was about how strong I was. I had always pictured myself as being superhuman in those situations and how I would be heroic. The truth was that I wasn't. I was human and I failed myself! So I have little patience for those who like to talk about what they would do and would ask them to remember that they were not faced with the situation and therefore can not surmise what they would have done.
This is an incredibly hard thing to share and I have only shared this information with three people in my life until now. But I hope that by sharing it I can communicate that I do not take the abuse represented in this case lightly. I understand better than most the pain, anguish, and isolation felt by the victims. I am not trying to make light of what they have experienced nor minimize it because I do know personally the feelings they have dealt with and will continue to confront.

Joe Paterno Statue

However, it is also important for people to slow down and approach this situation from a reasonable standpoint and do what we can to make things better. To broadly paint Jerry Sandusky as a monster who everyone should have clearly seen as a pedophile is unfair. If the allegations are true, then he clearly has problems and needs to honestly confront and be held accountable for his actions and the pain he inflicted. But he also needs the prayers and support of those around him. Let us not forget that he also did very many great things in the State College community and changed lives in a positive manor as well. Yes the balance sheet does not favor him right now but let us take on the heart of Christ and demonstrate compassion and hope that he can be redeemed.
Would we have liked for McQueary, Curley, and Paterno to have done more, absolutely. Paterno himself has said that in hindsight he wishes he had done more, but who of us can't say that about some situation in our lives?  Let us remember what Jesus told those around the woman caught in adultery, "let him without sin throw the first stone." We were not there we do not know the complete situation and for us to judge is probably unwise. We should learn from this and hopefully more of us in our own communities will be more concerned about injustices that are right in front of our eyes and do something about them.
Finally I must address the Board of trustees decision to fire Joe Paterno. I respect their authority to do so, but I do not believe it has done anything to help the situation. It does nothing in the short term to assist the victims or their families. It seems to be a hasty decision for public relations purposes and hurts more people than it helps.

 This team has a game this Saturday against Nebraska which has been overlooked. But more importantly there are over 100 young men who had nothing to do at all with this scandal who are being penalized. Those football players came to Penn State to play under a coach who they respected and believed in. Yes he fell short, as we all do, but they now do not have the opportunity to watch and learn how to deal with adversity and hard times from one of the wisest men in this country. They have made him an outcast and they did it over the phone.

Paterno

To my knowledge the trustees have just repeated the mistakes they are punishing Paterno for. Paterno should have gone directly to Sandusky when he heard of the allegations, and maybe he did, we don't know that for sure. But the ability to confront a friend and colleague no matter how difficult the subject is demonstrates true leadership. Did Paterno fail in this? Probably. But the trustees have made the exact same error. They did not consult or meet with Paterno to find out what his side of the story was or what should be done to move forward. Paterno had already said he would step down at the end of the season.

Paterno Library at Penn State

Instead they sent a messenger to his house with instructions to call a number where they succinctly told him your services are terminated. Doesn't 61 years of service to the university deserve more respect that that? Doesn't raising the funds to build a wing of the library, a spiritual center and a sports museum carry with it the dignity of a face to face conversation? Shouldn't the trustees have at least recognized the efforts of a man who has consistently produced the highest graduation rates in the nation for his football team and has evaded NCAA sanctions?

While I would disagree with Paterno's philosophical stance of situational ethics, I do recognize that he has been good for football, good for sport and good for Penn State and its students. I hope that as we move forward as both Penn Stater's and those who are outside and trying to figure out this strange culture that has assisted in the development of this scandal that we will take a deep breath, sit down and pray. Pray for the victims first of all that healing and God's love will come quickly and completely. That as a community we can embrace them and help them through a difficult time. Secondly we need to pray for those accused of various offenses regarding this scandal. We must pray for forgiveness and for clear guidance in helping them understand the implications of their actions and inaction's, but also that they will find comfort in the arms of Christ. And finally we need to pray that we can find peace within our hearts, and in humility and grace sort through the facts and issues of this case as we move forward.