Locker Room Talk

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump's excuse for his vulgar and offensive comments recorded in the Access Hollywood tapes come down to this... it's ok because it was merely locker room talk, everybody does it. He is sorry not for what he said but for being caught. And for him, what was said is no big deal.
As someone who has spent most of my life in locker rooms as an athlete, coach and teacher I find this excuse ridiculous. But what is even more disturbing is the supposed acceptance of this stereotype that has existed for decades. The idea that in locker rooms guys sit around and talk about grabbing women's p...... is so far from the truth that I feel the need to speak out. I have been involved in locker rooms at all levels of sport both in the U.S. and internationally. Are locker rooms equivelant to church sanctuary's? No of course not. Do guys speak about women? Yes. But in all my years in locker rooms I have never heard the type of discussions that Trump engaged in with Billy Bush accepted in a locker room. Maybe he remembers discussions from his middle school sports years when kids have no filters and say things that are ridiculous or maybe he is recalling discussions from being at a bar when people are drunk. But in a locker room where athletes come together for a common mission, hardly.
Now I'm not saying that guys will not speak about if a woman is "hot" or such things. But when someone crosses the line and starts talking about anything approaching what Trump spoke about I have seen guys respond in two ways. One, they all ignore and shun the speaker because that person has proven that they are an idiot, or someone steps up and says something about respect for women and shuts them up.
Trump wants us to believe that conversations like his are common occurrences in locker rooms and that he should be excused for participating in a conversation that is a normal part of our sports culture. As such he wants us to just see him as "one of the guys."
Well, I object to that and want people to know that that is not the norm in locker rooms. He is not being "one of the guys," he is exhibiting abnormal behaviour that those of us living in the locker room day in and day out recognize as the words of a sleeze bag. Guys like that are blow hards, wanna be macho guys who think that conquering a woman makes them a man. While there are those rare individuals that is not a true and complete picture of a locker room environment.

As a coach I follow in the footsteps of my coaches who taught me that women were to be honored and treated with respect in word and deed. That if we were not willing to say something in a womans presence then it is not appropriate to speak about her in derogatory ways in that sacred place. The locker room is home, it is a place to escape and prepare. Is there joking and laughter and crude humor? Sometimes. But there is still a code of conduct that we understand as athletes and men that must be followed. I try to teach my athletes what that line of demarcation is that we need to avoid crossing and that it begins with respect for women.
With all of the issues with domestic violence and sexual assault that surrounds sport these days that should be a major emphasis for all of us as coaches. If its not, then we deserve to be lumped together with the likes of Trump and condemned for our "locker room talk." But I for one will stand against that time and continue to condemn those who want to taint a place that is special for those of us involved in athletics.