Keeping My Head Above Water

Often when asked "how are you doing" we respond with a common phrase "just keeping my head above water." This usually denotes the fact that we are swamped with work, worry, and obligations and the image is that we are trying to survive, to not drown in the sea of cares and concerns. I have been feeling that way lately. Our team, the Butchers, after starting the season 5-0 has lost the last two games to very good opponents and yet for defending five-time national champions to lose two in a row creates a bit of a buzz around the country. It has put our backs against the wall and we will have to play great football for the rest of the way to be able to defend our title. Obviously as a coach and the one responsible for the sinking ship I have to find ways to right it and to set our course once again in a positive direction. And truth be told I think we are on the way to that. But it is a challenge I would rather not have had at this point in the season. Adding to that was the news from home that my dad had undergone a couple of surgeries to restore circulation in both legs. He almost lost both legs and was struggling in recovery from the surgeries and the waves around me seemed to be getting bigger and the idea of keeping my head above water seemed overwhelming.

After the losses we have entered into a three week break in the season to allow Finnish players to train and compete in the European Championships which are a qualifier for next years World Championships to be held in Austria. Many of our players are on the National team so we will not be having practice so I actually have a break which is good and bad. Good in that I have some free time but bad in that I don't have people around to spend it with. So this will be an extremely alone time for me. So the idea of all of these stresses and three weeks of being alone was a bit daunting. But I decided to make the most of it and travel around the local area a bit. It has been extremely hot here, "hella" is the Finnish word for hot and that has been appropriate so I decided to go to a lake called Venjarvi and cool off. The lake was beautiful, surrounded by birch, aspen, fir, and pine trees. And there was a nice little sandy beach. However the beach was a bit hectic so I decided to swim to the other side of the lake. When I got there I found a log that was partially submerged in the water and sat on it to rest. It was so peaceful and still and I reveled in the peacefulness. I have been trying to figure out where God wants me to go and trying to deal with some very painful emotions regarding my relationships, both past and present, which have roots in some issues of abandonment and trust from being adopted.  As I sat there I just asked God to help me clear my head and heart and refocus. God spoke in his gentle way "keep your head above water" and simultaneously my attention was drawn to these flowers which were all around me poking their blossoms up out of the water.
They are a type of water lily with a beautiful yellow kukka ( flower in Finnish) and they were there right next to me . They are not particularly ostentatious, they  blended into the entire scene in a magical way. As I looked around the lake I began to see more and more of them with the blossom just poking up above the water level and surrounded by Lilly pads which helped to dissipate waves. I was amazed at how deep these plants were rooted into the water. The bottom was deep enough that I couldn't touch and these plants were rooted in the lake bed and had made their way to the water surface where they seemed to revel in a state of worship to their creator.
As I sat there admiring these plants I realized that God has a different meaning for keeping our heads above water and he was trying to communicate that to me. Whereas in my mind it is a mere act of survival, however brave and heroic I may make it out to be, it is more than that in Gods plan. He does not just want me to survive but to thrive even in those conditions. And here was the evidence; these kukka thriving in this lake.  They were beautifully arrayed in the water emitting their fragrance for anyone to see. The blooms of these kukka were just above the water and yet they were poised with a sense of affirmation of life. It was as if they were in a state of worship lifting their heads toward God with pride and purpose.

With God's grace and strength I hope that I may be able to hold my head above the water with the same pride and purpose as these kukka and live a life of worship.

Therefore, I urge you brothers in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -which is your spiritual worship. Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12: 1-2