NFL Lockout Horror Evaded.
Society
has been saved! The National Football League (NFL) lockout has ended and
players and owners have come to an agreement on a new collective bargaining
agreement. For fans of the NFL this is wonderful news. The season will proceed,
and players and owners will once again be able to accumulate millions of
dollars for their hard work.
Ray Lewis |
The
great news however, is that society will now be safe. Safe from the predicted crime wave that
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis warned us would be coming if the season
did not proceed. Lewis knows a bit about crime as he was present during a
homicide in which he never clearly explained what happened, so when he speaks
about crime I listen. After all he is in touch with those groups of people more
than I am so if he says that if the NFL doesn’t play it would create a major
crime wave as fans would have nothing else to do but commit crimes, I listen. It makes sense because if I can’t watch games
on TV on Sundays I guess my only other option is to knock off a liquor store or
commit some other crime. Some people
would mistakenly believe that people may choose to do something like go to a
beach or a lake or spend time with their family if no games were on. Others
might fantasize that people might get to
know their next door neighbors and create real communities as they might be
outside working or playing rather than being glued to the television. However, they would most likely be wrong as
Lewis probably has a better sense of the pulse of the average football fan.
Mackenzie McGrady Hurdling a Rooster! |
After
all, I am sure that Roger Goodell and the marketing departments for the NFL and
its teams would concur that the primary target group for NFL fans is those who
commit crimes when bored. After all
aren’t those the people who will be spending their hard earned, or rather
stolen, money on the variety of products that sponsors hawk on television and
at the games? What organization would not be proud when their team gear is
represented in mug shots? I haven’t done the research yet, but I am assume that
Lewis did since he has spent time in higher education at the University of
Miami, probably as a criminal justice major, that if we look at statistics we
would see a sudden decrease in crime every fall. As football season ends in the
late winter/ early spring we probably would see a huge spike in criminal
activity as the NBA obviously can’t detract fans violence prone behavior as
well as football. I am so happy that the lockout is over as I now feel as if I
will be able to once again walk the streets in safety, leave my doors and
windows wide open, and leave my keys in my car where I won’t lose them anymore.
America is once again safe from crime! Way to go players and owners for your
wonderful civic consciousness!
Adrian Peterson |
In
other ways though, I am sad that the lockout is over. Despite the great lack of
crime we are about to experience, we have once again signed players to
contracts that still place them into an unacceptable social position. As Adrian
Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back, so aptly observed during the
lockout players are once again relegated to a form of slavery that is
unacceptable for any forward thinking person. After all, how are these players
supposed to live free lives when they have to live in the city where their
employment is for six months out of the year?
I mean imagine if you were working for Microsoft and they actually
expected you to move to the Seattle area just because their headquarters are
their? How crazy would that be?
Peterson is right, Kunta Kinte
would be appalled at his working conditions.
How could any owner expect his players to live under such horrific
conditions? Paying them millions of
dollars per year only to trade or sell them when their productivity wanes? What
do these owners expect these players to do save up some of the money they pay
them for the day when their playing days are over? No I am afraid that as fans we will once again
be mesmerized by the thrill of the game and completely forget the inhumane
lifestyle that the owners force these players to undertake. The end of the
lockout means that we will unfortunately be condoning modern day slavery once
again.
Christopher Watkins and Mackenzie McGrady |
Most
importantly I will miss the lockout for the entertainment value that it
provided. During the season when players
are under contract they are restricted in what they say to the media. They self
impose bans on speech in order to not provide bulletin board material for other
teams. Management also has greater
control over messages as they want to protect their brand image. So in this era
of coach and player speak it is hard to get great quotes from players like
Peterson and Lewis. So unfortunately we will be back to the standard lines such
as “we just need to step it up on defense next week because they are a great offensive
team.”
I do
have to admit though that here in Europe the lockout has been an amusing side
show as it has been an exciting time for football. The USA once again won the
World Championships in Austria in July, National leagues have been crowning champions all
over Europe and the game continues to grow and develop. We at the Butchers are
once again in a hunt for a seventh consecutive championship with a very young
and inexperienced team who continues to show great enthusiasm for the game. Last night we defeated the Lapeneranta Border Knights in an incredibly exciting game 48-45. Last time we played them we came from behind to win 60-54. This time the Knights went up 45-41 with 37 seconds left in the game on a pass from Dan Selway from Redlands University to Nate Kmik their new import from Mount Union College and the NCAA D-III player of the year. However due to rules determining playoff position they needed to beat us by 7 points to get homefield advantage in the playoffs so they went for it and tried an on side kick. We recovered and scored a touchdown with 17 seconds left. They were not finished however as they drove down the field and were threatening to tie the game until with 8 seconds left Layton Brown stepped in front of a Selway pass and intercepted it to seal the victory and a guaranteed second seed in the playoffs and home field advantage. It was a great game for URHO TV and an exciting battle to the end. The
television ratings here continue to rise as well so maybe we can link a drop in
the crime rate here in Finland to the growth of the game. Blessings to you!
One of two safeties for our defense against the Helsinki Roosters |