"Stuff Happens"

What is wrong with us as Americans? Once again we mourn as a gunman kills multiple victims. This time in Roseburg, Oregon just an hour or so from where I grew up in Eugene. So it again hits home but even more so when I read about each individual murdered.  I was struck that these are not just numbers but as Justin Zoradi's non-profit organization's name clearly says "These numbers have faces." (http://thesenumbers.org/mission) 

While Zoradi's wonderful mission has other goals not dealing with gun violence the truth is that even these numbers do have faces. And the faces have stories behind them and people who loved them whose own lives are devastated by this senseless violence. As President Obama noted we have seemingly become numb to this type of tragedy and almost accept it as collateral damage. In fact, Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush even responded to the tragedy by simply stating that"stuff happens." Really? Really? Stuff happens? Peoples lives are destroyed and all we can say is stuff happens? 
Some of my friends on facebook are once again going to the defense of guns noting that "guns don't kill, people do."  Some even claim that if we took away guns then people would commit these atrocities with whatever is available including pencils, forks and other nonsensical implements. If this is true then I have to ask a deeper question. What is wrong with us as Americans. If guns don't kill people, but people do then what does that say about us as a people? 
The statistics are staggering. Since 1997 the United States has experienced 51 mass shooting involving events that kill 4 or more people. In that same time two other countries have had multiple events. Germany and Switzerland each with 3. The United Kingdom had one while Australia and Japan have not experienced one. (http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/03/us/gun-deaths-united-states/) Australia is interesting as they had experienced many prior to 1997 but changed gun laws and since then have seen an incredible decrease in gun deaths. Australia now has 30 deaths by homicide annually. (http://mic.com/articles/123049/19-years-after-passing-strict-gun-control-laws-here-s-what-happened-in-australia) Compared to the U.S. which has 11, 208 in 2013 that is a drop in the bucket. 
So that begs the question. What is wrong with us? If it is not the guns but the people that must make us one of histories most disturbed, bloodthirsty, and violent cultures ever, which in many ways is more frightening. What is it that makes us as a people kill people at such a high rate compared to countries around the world that are similar to us? And yet we claim to be the greatest nation on earth fighting for life, liberty. and the pursuit of happiness. Well maybe we should get rid of the life part since we obviously do not truly value life, other than our own. And while we are at it we may want to rethink the liberty part as well since our incarceration rates dwarf those of other civilized countries. While we make up 5% of the worlds population we have 25% of the worlds prisoners. Peter Wagner of the Prison Policy Initiative noted that 

"The U.S. prison population rate is highest in the world, at 716 per 100,000 of the national population, according to the International Centre for Prison Studies. Russia’s is 475 prisoners per 100,000 of the national population, and China’s is 121 per 100,000 population, which is below the world’s median rate, More than half of countries and territories have rates below 150 per 100,000 population." (http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2014/dec/16/matthew-cooke/us-prison-population-big-russia-china-and-north-ko/)"

So again what makes us as a people so in need of imprisoning our fellow citizens? Are we that much more prone to evil than other nations?  I know that there is a sense of always looking to gain the system in us. That was proven clearly to me when I moved to Finland. One of the Finnish players took us Americans, who were new, to the grocery store to show us how to shop. Believe me it is different in every country, to the point that one of our players was so frustrated with the process in one country that he decided to just eat out and not deal with the frustration. While at the store we were in the produce section where you select your fruits and vegetable and then weigh them, enter a code and a printer spits out a label that you put on the bag to tell the cashier how much is in the bag. No, they do not weigh them at the checkout counter they trust that you have put in the correct product number and that the scale is accurate. To my disgrace I have to admit that all sorts of things were going through my mind and I finally asked, "what would stop you from weighing it, getting the tag and then adding more fruit to the bag?" My host looked at me completely puzzled and responded, "why would you do that?" 

I instantly realized that my moral compass was much more deviant than my European counterparts. There is a trust in basic human goodness there. Interestingly every American in every country I have coached who we initially take to the grocery store and showed the system asked the exact same question, so I didn't feel so bad. There were others who had the same distorted view of life. But it was not a proud moment to realize that my culture has taught me to see opportunities to take advantage of situations and let the buyer, or seller, beware. Maybe it is that way of thinking that has led to our need for huge prisons, I suspect it is more, but nevertheless it brings into question whether we are really all that interested in liberty especially when we look deeper and see the disparity of minorities and the poor imprisoned in our systems.  
At least we do unquestionably value the pursuit of happiness. There is no doubt that we have become the most narcissistic people on the face of the earth. We do not act with a sense of justice, or right versus wrong, but only with regard to what is right for me.  It is not the pursuit of happiness for the community or the good of the people of our country,  it is the pure pursuit of personal happiness no matter how much despair and destruction that causes others. So it is much more important that we retain the rights of gun owners for the happiness that shooting their guns gives them than it is to protect and stop the slaughter of students and staff at Sandy Hook, Columbine, Thurston, and now Umpqua Community College. The pursuit of happiness trumps life and liberty once again. And that is all ok- because "Stuff Happens,"

For a look at how others around the world view us on this subject check this out! 

http://www.nationofchange.org/2015/10/06/heres-what-the-world-thinks-about-the-american-response-to-the-oregon-massacre/

Peace!

Merry Christmas?

Merry Christmas!
These two words should bring a welcoming feeling when spoken. However, here in the United States this greeting has become divisive and even worse, a political tool.  For those of you who oppose Christmas and its celebration there is nothing in particular that I have to say regarding your stance other than that for some of you your dominant position is one of tolerance for all things and yet I find it amusing that to promote tolerance you become intolerant of Christmas, but that is your issue and I choose to laugh rather than fight against it. I am not in your camp so I have little understanding of the incoherencies of your stance as compared to your foundational beliefs.

I am however, in the camp of those who do celebrate and embrace Christmas and so this post is an open letter and apology to those who have been offended by "our side." While many would argue, and with some accuracy that I am not in a position to write such an apology I am endeavoring to do so anyone. It is true I am not a pastor or in a position of spiritual authority. I am merely a brother in Christ and I have to admit that yesterday while driving around Spokane I felt assaulted by signs and messages by my fellow Christians. I can't tell you how many signs I drove past telling me to "Keep Christ in Christmas" and that "Jesus is the Reason for the Season." While I agree in part with the sentiments and see the danger in the rampant commercialization of Christmas, I could not help but feel that I was being bombarded by a marketing campaign with more behind it than a catchy slogan. Maybe its because I have seen t-shirts lately stating that "Happy Holidays is what Liberals say" and have heard a growing chorus of political leaders bemoaning the "assault on Christmas" this year as political capital.

Really?

Driving around on Christmas Eve and finishing up my errands I was enjoying the festive spirit but the signs felt out of place and attacking rather than encouraging and kind.
So it made me wonder what would it look like to have Christ in Christmas?  I venture to say that my interpretation of what that would look like compared with those behind the campaign would differ greatly. I could be wrong but what I have been hearing from those wanting to keep "Christ in Christmas" is that they have a political agenda that includes prayer in schools, allowing for nativity scenes on public property and open expressions of religious speech during the Christmas season so that acknowledgment of what the holiday is about is overtly understood. While I don't disagree with many of those ideas, they are not what I  think of when I consider keeping Christ in Christmas.

First of all Jesus did not come with a political agenda, in fact he told us to "give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and give to God what belongs to God." (Mark 12:17)  I am not saying that we should not be involved in the political process as Christians, quite the contrary, I believe that we are to work within our governmental structures to fight for justice and peace. But I find we often become small minded in our issues and that in turn brings the focus back onto ourselves and our issues rather than bringing glory to God. I find it sad that people may associate the Church and Christmas by the slogans they see on signs such as those above, rather than "Peace on earth", Joy to the World", and "goodwill toward men." I apologize that what we present as followers of Christ is not much different from what you experience in your Christmas season other than our going to a Christmas eve service and reading the story of the birth of Christ at home along with our other Christmas stories.

I am sorry if you feel yelled at by us as we try to shout our way out of the Christmas hoopla to make sure you hear us say hey look at us we are important and should be given equal time. But mostly I apologize for not being the light of the world that pierces the darkness and brings hope and love through our actions in the name of the precious baby that we ask you to not forget.

As Christians we are as complicent as anyone for the excess in commercialism surrounding "our" holiday. We love to buy and get gifts and spend time and feast with our family and friends as much as everyone and as a result we get caught in our own traps. But what if instead of trying to be louder in our voices we took the St. Francis of Assisi approach to Christmas and put away our signs as we attempted to"preach constantly and when necessary, use words?"

What if we as Christians made such an impact in our communities that others couldn't help but see the benefits and our light of love. What if instead of just enjoying the beautiful view of candles lit in our service on Christmas eve we could enjoy the trans formative joy of a community who has had that light reaching the dark places in our lives. What if we took our energy that we spend trying to get the right to have nativity scenes in the Capitol or other issues and spent it on something that represents Jesus such as eradicating poverty, transforming environmental law so that we can call ourselves good stewards of what God has called us to take care of, or fighting for justice for the oppressed including those enslaved in jobs that pay wages which are below the poverty line. What if one Christmas we as a church transformed our communities with acts of service and kindness so overwhelming that it was literally earth shaking? Would we need to remind others to keep Christ in Christmas or would people we never expected to, say "I just saw Jesus at work in my life and my town, now I know what this holiday is all about"?

 What if we really strove to bring peace on earth and goodwill to mankind? All mankind? Christian, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, men, women, young, old, black, white, yellow, red, rich, poor, etc.. What if we demonstrated that this baby we worship in the manger came not to bring a sword but peace? That he is not for gun rights, capitalism, socialism, right to anything, or American values but is about loving people where they are and transforming their lives. Maybe then people could look one another with confidence and say Merry Christmas not with a voice of hope but knowing that God had and does change lives. So here is to next year when maybe that can be a reality and we can all live a Merry Christmas. Until then lets all "preach constantly."

Simplicity

View From Schweitzer Mountain Resort

"Simplicity is the keynote of My Kingdom. Choose Simple things always, love and reverence the humble and the simple.
Have only simple things here. Your standard must never be the worlds standard."  God Calling

In the world of sport and football being simple is not the norm. It flies in the face of sport culture as complexity is admired, and adulated. The simplicity of following Christ lies in seeing the joy and love that he has and not in seeking to build our own kingdom. The difficulty of it is that it places ego, pride, self fulfillment and our competitive nature at his feet~right at the base of the cross. We see this battle in the arms race of professional, collegiate and even high school sports. So many coaches try to build up their own kingdoms and monuments to attest to their hard work.

One of the struggles I have at times is the development of a "program mentality." We talk about what is best for the program, what the program needs. We hear it on sports radio and in clinics and are encouraged and challenged to build a strong program. While the idea of a stable program is something that we can and should strive for at times I have seen it develop into a life of its own and become bigger than the sport and our players. the complexity overshadows what we are called to do as coaches and teachers. Programs are not human just as corporations are not people, sorry Citizens United but I firmly reject that notion. While we build strong programs we have to realize as coaches that our programs are nothing more than a community of people; coaches, players, and support staff who  work together to create the values that we want to have reflected in each other. Far too often we see those community members sacrificed for the good of the program and with it the values that we share as individuals. The program needs to win so we sacrifice integrity and change grades for failing students rather than make them understand that they have a  responsibility to take care of all areas of their lives for the good of one another. Rather than teaching players that they need to take care of things on and off the field and that the rest of the team is counting on them to do those things, we bend rules, and our standards, and teach them instead that they and the program are above others and that winning at all costs is the only standard. As a result the integrity of the very game we love is impugned. We treat our players as if they are merely a means to an end and are expendable.

Porvoo Butchers

I honestly believe, and tell my players often, that football is better for them than they are for the game of football, a lesson I learned from my good friend and mentor Craig Walker, the very successful former head coach at Bend High School in Oregon. They  need to understand that the game will continue with or without their contributions, but it is not that they are not important to me or the team.  I communicate this to them so that they understand that to be part of the team is a privilege that  carries with it responsibility to the rest of us involved. Which brings me back to the simplicity of  loving God and loving people. I often go walking through beautiful neighborhoods and see palatial houses. Houses that I long for, with wonderful views and incredible amenities. However, those houses are just that, houses, without the love of family. They are doomed to crumble. I realize that my focus needs to be on the eternal-the simple gifts God has blessed me with.  In the same way a program will eventually crumble, but not the relationships that are forged and the character that is developed. All programs have ups and downs in terms of success but if it is merely built to win then there is no substance to it.

Multnomah Falls, Oregon

As a coach I have a unique opportunity to build His Kingdom, if I will forego my own kingdom building and learn to enjoy the simple things that he provides as I love and serve him  and those he has led to me. I realized this during the winter as  I have been so blessed to be able to smile and love every little kid that I got to teach to ski at Schweitzer Mountain resort in Idaho. I also recognize that over the years I have had the joyous opportunity to laugh and work with players in many countries-what a blessing!

Joys of coahhing!

And as a result I have come to understand that God's Kingdom does not look like earthly kingdoms-it is far more simple. It exists in the incredible strength of flowers blooming and pushing out of the ground after a brutal winter, and in the sun setting on the Selkirk mountains creating an alpenglow in its wake. It is clearly evidenced in a young athletes smile as he scores his first touchdown or in the look of satisfaction on players faces when they understand that they have accomplished something difficult. It does not exist in statues and trophies that fade in their glory, but in the glow of hearts that appreciate the simple joy, hope and love of life. Focus on the simple, it is much richer.

Mahalo!

The Coach

An interesting demographic has developed here in the United States and has been noticed by pollsters. According to numerous polls regarding American spiritual values there is a rising group of people who are now called the "nones." This group is people who, when asked about religious affiliation, have put a check in the box labeled none. Some polls have this group at 23% of Americans and it is even higher for those aged 17-35. As I was driving home yesterday I was listening to National Public Radio (NPR) and on the program "All Things Considered" there was an interesting piece where they were interviewing six people who identified themselves as a none.
What struck me was that most of these people had faith backgrounds, Jewish, Protestant, Catholic etc. and yet all were struggling with believing in the existence of a God. Some continued to practice the religious tenets of their faith and others had stopped going to church or synagogue altogether. While they all had come to the conclusion that there was not a God they all seemed to understand that that conclusion held deeply disturbing results such as the" loss of meaning for life" and immersion into a world of chaotic values with no foundation. In fact one of the interviewees said "I don't believe in God but I deeply wish that I did."

One of the consistent themes that was expressed by these people was their disappointment in God that had created a loss of faith. In story after story they explained how in times of trouble God did not answer their prayers, allowing friends or family members to die or suffer through cancer or economic collapse or other maladies. The question was raised as to if God did not care to intervene and allows for evil and bad things to happen to us, then does he really exist.
This issue of evil in the world  and why does God allow bad things to happen to good people is not a new one and has been addressed by people more learned than myself throughout the centuries. But I have to admit that as I was driving and listening I thought about my predicaments over the years and thought "yeah God how come you haven't intervened and made me a millionaire or at least helped me to find a great job?" I was reminded of the scene in the movie Amadeus (1984) when Mozart's mentor, Antonio Salieri played by F. Murray Abraham in his Oscar winning role for best actor, cries out to God wondering why he chose to give all of this talent to Mozart who cared little about pleasing or serving God and lived for the vices of the world. Salieri struggled to understand why  God would not bless him when all he wanted to do was to serve God through his musical abilities and yet seemingly wasted his gifts on someone who did not even appreciate them. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086879/

F.Murray Abraham as Salieri Courtesy of Orien Pictures

I have to admit that I often wonder the same things at times when I see the ultra rich having disdain for the poor and disregarding justice and think why are they so blessed? And then obviously the next question is why not me... because it always comes back to me...right? This morning though I had my eyes opened a little bit as I was spending time reading and praying and God asked me what would I do as a coach? When my players were hurting in practice and looked as if they could go no more, would I just cancel the rest of practice and give them some cookies and milk?
It was then that I saw some connections. Of course I wouldn't, we may take a quick breather, get some water, but then it would be back to practice because we need to push on to accomplish what is set before us so that we are prepared for our test-which in sport is our match or game. But in life those tests are more demanding.

As a coach I will give whatever comfort and encouragement I am able to, but I also understand that to stop is to fail because we will not be ready for what the opposition throws at us. To allow my players to not properly execute in drills and use correct technique is not helping them, it is doing them a disservice. Am I then an uncaring and indifferent coach? No! I care, that is why I teach them properly and push them to work through tough times when their body is screaming in pain and their mind is fuzzy with concepts. I know what types of tests they will face ahead of them because I have scouted the other teams through countless hours of film and personnel study. I know what they will be facing on the field and off.

So often we accuse God of being that uncaring, distant observer who didn't do what we thought he should-cancel practice when things got tough or even do the drills for us. As far as my and Salieri's concerns about what about this other guy? I remember in high school seeing guys I knew driving home after school from the parking lot in nice cars with their beautiful girlfriends as I was walking out toward the football field for practice. There were times when I wished I could trade places and not have to go pound my body. But what I was called and driven to do was not what they were. It was not fair to compare our lives because I had made a commitment to be a member of our football team at Winston Churchill High School and as such I had  a responsibility to my teammates and our coaches to give all I had to them. It was a different path that I chose from my other friends and it was unfair to compare them. My job was to focus on my responsibilities and the ultimate outcome was to grow close to 50 or so guys who fought for a State Championship and succeeded in that endeavor. Was it difficult? Yes! Was it worth it? Yes! And not just for the State Championship but for the opportunity to spend time with men like Coach Floyd Halvorsen,  Eric Krueger, Brad Fennel, Mike Lighty, Jamie Peterson, Jason Metz, Steve Littlejohn, Tom McGlasson, David Hill, Dan Cook, Kirk Brackenbush, Marty Louthan, Rick Geyer, Mark Lamb, Ricky Jennings and so many more who all contributed to our success.

What I learned that season and have continued to learn is that God's desire is not for us to prosper in the ways and eyes of the world, but to make us more like him. To create the ability in us to handle the desert as if it is the mountaintop. To have grace under pressure and to take life in stride and deal with each setback and struggle with knowledge that we are not alone. Our coach is on the field with us preparing and encouraging us. Will we always win the tests and enjoy the critiques that the coach has for us? No, but that is not the ultimate goal. We are the goal, our maturation and development into compassionate, loving people who do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8).
"In the world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) God knows the schedule, understands our opponents and knows what we need to do to overcome and be successful  not in the measures of the world , but in the eyes of the one who loves us beyond measure. Peace.

Pivotal Moments

A friend today posted on Facebook that "hopefully today will be a pivotal moment in our nations history." What are those pivotal moments? Often they are the times when we remember hearing about tragedies or news events that catch us off guard and we remember those moments as they are captured in our mind's eye by the media. The assassination's of JFK and Martin Luther King Jr., Neil Armstrong's first moon walk, The Challenger Space Shuttle disaster, Columbine, 9/11, and the Obama inauguration crowds are all images that convey meaning and will never be erased from my mind. I am sure there are others that may impact you and are seared on our collective memories.

Today I was once again glued to the television and watching in horror a sight which has become all too common in America, the scene of a school in lockdown because of a shooting. This was the pivotal moment that my friend referenced because this was no high school like Columbine or University like Virginia Tech where students entered buildings with weapons and enacted whatever strange brand of vengeance that they deemed appropriate. While details are still being worked out we do know that this was a K-4 elementary school where 20 children between the ages of 5-7 years old had their lives ended as well as 6 staff members, and the gunman who was in his 20's and his mother who volunteered throughout the community. For whatever reason the shooter chose to shoot children in a first grade classroom. For me this hits close to home as my son is a first grader.
The other roughly 580 students who escaped have also suffered harm as they will have to deal with the loss of friends and beloved teachers who they will have looked up to. I found out about the tragedy on Facebook as I have a friend who lives in Newtown, Connecticut just 3 miles from the school and has children in the school district, fortunately at another school. They are safe. For that I am so grateful. Coincidentally, I found out on Facebook that I had another friend earlier this week who was ushered to safety from Nordstrom's at the Clackamas Town Center in Portland, Oregon, by undercover security where another twenty some year old man decided to open fire on shoppers with an assault weapon.

My thoughts and prayers of thankfulness for my friends safety is tempered by the realization that others do not have that consolation. They lost friends and family members to these shootings. Having friends nearby makes it real for me but not as real as if I had lost someone. Today's shooting also hit home as I have many friends who are teachers, those so often on the front lines of these attacks, and I appreciate greatly their willingness to heroically stand  to protect our children while also trying to educate them. It amazes me that they continue to do so while being humiliated with salary cuts and demands from the public which are unrealistic and demeaning of the education and dedication that they show.

Primarily however, I thought of my son and daughters who are in school today and I could not imagine having to rush to a school to see if they were safe in the wake of an attack only to find out, as twenty sets of parents did today, that the dreams I had for them had been extinguished. What anguish! It is unimaginable.
To realize that these children who, like mine, were looking forward to winter break and time with family and friends hit home. First graders, who had just finished their first fall of school as "big kids" and whose cares were about potential snow falling for sledding opportunities or vacation trips to see Grandma and Grandpa or about what Santa would be bringing them in the coming weeks. These are the victims. These are the sacrifices we make as a country for gun rights. Collateral damage. I know that my friends who are pro guns would point out that "guns don't kill, people do." Yes that is a lovely, trite saying, that I could never imagine trying to voice to a grieving parent.  I know that if someone tried to console me with that in the wake of a tragedy like this where my child had been shot and killed my response would be to explain, without words, that hands do not kill, people do!

The reality is that every year in this country approximately 11,000 Americans die from gun violence. In other civilized countries including Great Britain, Japan, South Korea, Finland, France , and Switzerland those numbers are usually about 10-60 per year. In America we have more people killed with guns in one week, over 200,  than they do in a year. For many of them we have more killed in one day, 30,  than they do in a year. Do we have a gun problem? Yes. Having lived in so many countries around the world and traveled to many more I have to say that American attitudes towards guns seems unreasonable and contributes to the violence that we see daily on our cities streets and all too often in our malls, places of worship and schools. The Michigan legislature, in the wake of the Clackamas killings, enacted legislation last night to allow concealed weapons in church's, schools, and day cares. We confront these acts of violence with a response which arms more of us. Somehow a policy of personal deterrence does not make sense to me. I hope my friend is right and that this is a pivotal moment for our country, I only hope that we have the humility to look to the rest of the world for answers.

Vicki Soto 1st grade teacher from Sandy Hook who shielded her students from the gunman and became a victim and a Hero

I also hope that our response will be based upon other motivations than fear. The pivotal moments in life both communal and personal always bring about feelings of fear and insecurity. What will happen next? What can I do? Where do we go from here? What is safe? These are questions that confront us whenever we reach a pivotal moment whether it be a cancer diagnosis, a loss of a loved one or a job, or a national tragedy. And yet we need to remember the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt who told our country in his first inaugural address that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

So how do we overcome fear? With love. John tells us that "there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18) This may seem like a simplistic answer, but there is nothing simple about it. Love is difficult, especially in the face of the type of pain we face with events such as today's. However, as hard as it may seem, the truth exists that only in love can fear be conquered. So what do we need to do? We need to hold strong to the one who loves us. In God Calling, the two listeners hear God telling them "you must not allow fear to enter, Talk to Me, Think of Me. Talk of Me. Love Me. And that sense of My Power will so possess you that no fear can possess your mind. Be strong in this My Love."
We need to cling to love and we need to comfort those who are fearful and brokenhearted with that love. How can we overcome the violence of our society? By rejecting fear and developing more loving communities. While Facebook has kept me abreast of what is happening in my friends lives I know that I need to be more available, not virtually, but incarnately,or in the flesh to those around me. We may need to change the way we cocoon ourselves in our devices and technology and walk over to a friends house to sit with them and share lives together. I believe that part of our issues even with violence stem from our disconnected nature in our society. We don't feel loved and rarely express our own love in tangible ways to others. So maybe this week we disconnect and honor these children by committing to live and love and play and expel the fears that want to control us.

 I ask you to think of the exuberance of one of those children and allow it to drive you to do one act of kindness or love for someone each day this week. Will you pledge to do that? Please join me.  If we do that we may be able to bring good from a tragic moment and maybe one act by one act create the pivotal moment that is needed in our culture. Not through legislation, not through empty words, but through loving acts.

The Hope of Suffering

"Wow, you remind me of Job" a friend recently told me over a beer at a local pub. He was referring to the spate of "suffering" that I have experienced over the last 4 years including bankruptcy, periods of unemployment, losing my house, divorce, and  3 surgeries in the last year for cancer and wrist reconstruction which have led to more periods of underemployment and a sense of being in a holding pattern for life.  While I claim no comparison to the fates that Job faced or even the intense suffering that many of my friends are currently experiencing I must admit that I find myself wondering "why" often? Why did I not get that job ? I was perfectly qualified and it would be a great fit. Why did I get cancer? Why did the ladder fail and the wrist not heal properly?  Why can't I find someone to love me?  Why did someone treat me like that ? Many questions arise and the outward circumstances of suffering press on us from all sides.

Vincent Van Gough

Add to that the inward suffering from depression which has been a constant companion for me for many years and at times it is hard to find reasons to get out of bed. This all can make life a struggle one which many people can relate to and yet which many more somehow cannot. Many friends exhort me to "just be thankful," to "be joyful," and to "look on the bright side." All wonderful sentiments and yet nearly impossible at times due to the enormity of the darkness that can come with bouts of depression.
Two experiences this weekend touched me in regards to this struggle, the first is the tragedy of Jovan Belcher, the Kansas City Chiefs linebacker, who killed his girlfriend Kasandra Perkins and then drove to the teams practice facilities, thanked his coach Romeo Crennell and General Manager Scott Pioli for all they had done for him before shooting himself in front of them. This is disturbing in many ways and has obviously attracted the medias attention for its macabre details. I at first wondered if it involved issues of head trauma  as this action is so far from what would be expected from this young man, who from all accounts was a model citizen and a wonderful friend and teammate. Then I realized that whether he suffered from head trauma issues is really not the issue at this time and my thoughts went to a realization of how much pain he must have been in to commit theses atrocious acts. And in my mind I acknowledged that "there but by the grace of God go I."

I am not saying that what he did is excusable in any way, I am just trying to understand what type of suffering he had to be in for someone so young, intelligent and successful to have made such horrible choices. We will never know. Once again we are reminded that money, prestige, and power are not solutions for suffering, they are only a panacea. But what about the issue of suffering? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or is it really the dark comedic train headlight coming at us?  People often tell me that "when God closes a door he opens a window."  My cynical thoughts quickly go to, but what if that window is on the fourth floor?
So the question I was left to struggle with was, is there some hope or purpose in suffering? It is an important question, not just for me, but for all of us because suffering is a human condition, none of us are immune from it and yet some seem to navigate it better, and others seem to get more than their fair share of it. I have tried, as James admonishes, to "consider it pure joy, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1: 2-4) And yet I seem to be far from perfect and complete and  find it hard to be consider it pure joy when trouble comes. I try to remember that Jesus explained that "you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy." And yet I struggle because in my sitcom and TV drama worldview this joy should be here already. After all, on those shows issues are always resolved within a half hour, or hour at the most . . . ok, sometimes I have to wait one week for an episode "to be continued" but then everything is worked out and all is well. So why am I still stuck four years out? Most Television series have ended their run within that time. Unfortunately God's time frame is not the same as what I have been conditioned to by our culture. So how does this joy come?

That answer came  from my second experience this weekend. Last night I went to church and our pastor had us write our fears on a stone and create an altar at the front of the church where we could leave the stone and give those fears to God. I left mine with my fears of rejection, failure and abandonment, hoping that God would be big enough to handle them. Then this morning I was reading in a wonderful book called God Calling, which a dear friend gave to me this fall, and I read something that took my breath away. "There comes a joy known to those who suffer with me. But that is not the result of the suffering, but the result of the close intimacy with Me, to which suffering drove you."
It struck me that I had been looking for the suffering to produce the promised joy but that is not the case. Suffering is just that-suffering- and will continue to be suffering unless we allow it to drive us to where it is intended. It is like a powerful wave that we can fight and thrash against-in vain- resulting in more suffering. Or we can ride that wave to the intimacy that it intends for us in Christ. That intimacy is where we will find joy. The suffering itself holds no possibility of joy, it is only a tool to be used in the development of our character.

So to what do we cling? To suffering? No, to Jesus. I have to admit that clinging to suffering is at times easy because it is strangely comfortable. It is at times like sitting outside the line of breaking waves knowing that at some point there will be a large wave that will crash and drive me but a safe place for the moment and a reprise from the inevitable scary ride back to the shore. That ride may be fraught with more whitewash from the wave tossing and thrashing us around to a point where we don't know which way is up or down and we panic and create situations such as the one where Jovan Belcher found himself.  So why do we fight the waves? Because to trust the wave of suffering to drive us to intimacy with God is to give up control. It is an act of halting in our fight for control and to allow God to direct us, which is scary. Many times I would rather fight and try to swim against the current and at least feel like I am in control, and I can have success at times in calmer waters, but there is no hope and no joy there. There is only more suffering and at times deeper waters and deeper suffering. I have to accept the intimacy of God to allow him to know me, with all of my failures and foibles and trust that he can love me just as I am. That is the challenge. My fears have caused me great suffering and I needed to cast them away with the stone. I need to know intimacy with God and others, something I am not good at. In order to do that I need to get on the wave with God  and allow him to direct me through the waves of suffering. I need to ride the wave with him to shore and experience the joy of intimacy. Life has its struggles and yet it is not about those and waiting for more to come. It is about feeling the lick of bitter saltwater on your tongue from the spray of those struggles, the wind blowing across your body and the warmth of the sun on your face as we move a midst great power and wonders with grace and abandonment of fear.

Chicken Coops and Championships!

We have an old saying in coaching that, "you can't make chicken soup from chicken crap" and that alludes to the fact that it takes talent to win games and be successful. I agree with that sentiment and yet this week find myself literally embedded in the analogy. Not in the sense of not having talent to win because we do have talent here at the Gladiators and have proven to be successful in reaching the teams third consecutive Swiss Bowl. The Swiss Bowl pits the two top teams in Switzerland in  National Championship title match that is the Swiss version of the Super Bowl although slightly less Super!

Today we have the opportunity to take on arguably the best team in Europe in the Calanda Broncos, a team that has been assembled for the express purpose of winning a Eurobowl Championship. They are immensely talented and boast imported players from all over the world. They have been the nemesis of the Gladiators for the last two Swiss Bowls as well so there is a history renewed tonight at Rahnkof Stadium in Basel.
While it is incredibly exciting to be playing for another national championship which makes my fourth one in three different countries now in Europe at the senior level, I was struck once again by the differences in American football here. That is where the said Chicken coop and its by-products comes into play. While in the U.S. any National Championship in American football brings with it enormous media pressure, and a strong sense of achievement, here in Switzerland to say that that sense is missing is a bit of an understatement. While at home I would be enmeshed in studying film, dealing with practice schedules and balancing the extra pressures of a National title game, here it is business as usual which means cleaning chicken coops.

Yes the glamour of a national title game here calls for the defensive coordinator to clean chicken coops along with other various tasks. You see besides preparing for the game through studying film and game planning coaches don't make what they would make in the U.S. so we do what we can to scrape by. In many ways it is a tent-making process as the apostle Paul explained. During the day I do odd jobs to make some money and this week included cleaning out an old hen house which has been vacated by its previous tenants. Hence much shoveling, scrubbing, and washing down of the entire building was needed and that was the glamour of championship week. Don't get me wrong it was actually a good task in that I was able to accomplish something and look at the final product and see a clean building.

That does not mean that the smell was completely wonderful even after the washing down with a pressure washer, those who have raised chickens will understand what I mean about the olfactory sensations of a hen house even after it has been cleaned, but it was better. It also was a great illustration for me in understanding that success is not always what we envision it as being glory filled and exciting. There is much hard work that has to precede the eventual success and if the work is not put in then there will be no success.

Our players have spent their own time cleaning out the chicken coops of the season through hard work dedication and determination. We started out very slowly losing our first 2 league games and yet were able to bounce back and make the playoffs and beat a very good Zurich renegade team last week in the semifinals 15-13, holding onto the narrow victory through the miss of a field goal by the Renegades on their last drive with seconds left in the game. It was not a pretty victory but it enabled us to advance to the final today. It was another picture of a clean chicken coop, it still smelled a bit like chicken poop but it looked better than it had earlier in the season.

As far as the fame and glory, that is also something that is not huge for the sport here. Most people I know don't even know this championship game is being played here in Basel today. Will there be a huge crowd, probably not, but it will be a decent following that will hopefully see a game that will  further peoples appreciation for the sport here in central Europe.  So today the question  for us is whether we have enough strength and character to overcome a great Broncos team in a final that pits us against them for the third time this season. I know this, our players will play hard and give it their best shot whether it smells a bit of  chicken poop or not at times. The thing I am most proud of with this group of men is the way they have handled adversity this season and have remained focused on getting here to this Swiss Bowl when most people had written them off. We are hoping for a great batch of chicken soup today because we have the right ingredients.

Blessings,

Jim